that awkward moment when you’re hunting for apartments, and someone on craigslist emails you back…
…and tells you that they had to go to Africa and they won’t be able to give you the documents to the rental property, and you just need to pay a deposit of $600 and the property will be yours, and you realize that it’s a just a scam.
The thing to do, i have found, is to reply with a similarly ridiculous email. Fill it with as much nonsense as possible. See below for guidelines.
To: Elizabeth William
RE: $1200/2br - 2 year Condo
Dear Elizabeth,
Oh how wonderful! That is good to know that they eat fried marshmallows in Nigeria too! I had no idea it was such a widespread practice. In fact, sometimes i hear coyotes howl at three in the afternoon, but you can’t believe everything you hear.
I would love to hear more about the apartment, especially whether or not the toilets are pink. This is very important to my boyfriend. Sometimes he stays up at night thinking about it. And of course, you have green plaid curtains? I’m sorry to ask, I know it is common in apartments of this type, but as I’m sure you have discovered over in Africa, you can never be too sure.
I have heard the mosquitos can be as large as a dinosaur’s tail! That must be exciting to combat them, living in a world of flying pancakes. Multitasking at its best!
I hope and pray that you enjoy eating rhubarb jelly on your toast in the morning.
Thank you for your offer to view the apartment, I have a magic key that opens all doors in the Sudan. Would this work for your apartment? Let me know. I would hate to inconvenience you by forcing you to meet me. It’s a difficult thing to do, and often people stagger away from the sight of my face, scarred for life. But you don’t want to know that. Tell me more about the piranhas!
Thank you for your gracious fortitude.
Sincerely,
Emmy Lou
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