we will never be heroines in a Hitchcock film

kayla: yeah, she’s like one of those heroines from a hitchcock movie

hair’s always perfect even running from the bad guys

sardonic, cool sense of humor

i so want to be like those women

me: yes

i have reached the conclusion

however

that i will never be one of those women

and that if i am running from bad guys, i will most likely trip and fall in a mud puddle and have snot on my face

and i will never say the right sardonic thing at the right time, but always think of it five minutes afterwards

kayla: i’d probably blush as well, or something inappropriate to the circumstance like that

me: and then start sweating profusely for no particular reason

and say, oh, i need to go to the washroom

and then walk in the wrong door

and have to turn around while everyone’s watching

to go walk through the right door

kayla: and all this time, there will be a zit on my forehead

me: and then stand in the bathroom saying, i will be confident, i will be confident

and then walk out

and not realize that a trail of toilet paper is attached to my shoe

kayla: it’s so classic

at least we are classic in some sense

maybe not the movie starlet sense

but …. still classic.

five red balloons